There is a nice little quote in a John Maxwell book that I am currently reading that states "If your face is going to "talk" for you anyway, you might as well have it communicate something positive"

Interesting indeed.  I have to tell you, I tend to be the stoic person in most cases prior to my current path.  I didn't joke around to often, and I believe that often the message I was conveying was not the message that I was intending to convey.  This may make sense to those of you that can relate to me. 

I can remember times where I would be at a party, a bar, any kind of social setting, and I have never been an outgoing gregarious kind of light the room up kind of person, so I would tend to blend in with the walls. 

However, in most circumstances, I would be thinking, someone will come talk to me, I'm over here, alone, someone else has to be bored out of their mind, yet in most cases it did not happen.

Obviously, there are so many layers why that happens, but for today, I will focus on one simple fact.  My face was telling everyone to stay away.  I avoided eye contact (self confidence), did not smile for the longest time, oh, and as you might have guessed by the name of my blog, I can be a bit scary at times.  So, while inside my head, I as saying, come over and chat, my face, my body, everything else (the only thing I was communicating with) was saying, stay away or I might eat your children.  That last part is a joke of course.

Back on track though.  In situations where feelings and attitudes are being conveyed (From UCLA psychology professor emeritus Albert Mehrabian) Dr. Mehrabian found the following:

What we say accounts for only 7 percent of what is believed
The way we say it accounts for 38 percent
What others see accounts for 55 percent. 

That is to say, that in many situations, what we say has less than 10% to do with the impression that we leave upon people. 

Bottom line, if the words, feelings, expressions, and body language do not fall into alignment, you can bet that the people that you are attempting to influence are not buying what you are throwing down.  Connecting is one of the most important aspects of any business relationship.  So much in fact, that I believe in order for trust to be established, which is truly the foundation of leadership, the ability to connect must happen first.  Every contact is the chance to connect and as a result, I believe, as I am, if connecting is a weak point, it gets to be a priority in terms of self and personal growth.

It is always interesting to me that in times of the greatest silence, the most powerful thoughts, feelings, ideas, passions, goals, dreams, and desires come about.  I find that when the day to day world is going on around us, it is only those items that we are able to focus on.  The kids get up and the day starts.  Feed them, bathe them, start wondering how the day will unfold.  Have to go to work, make appointments, make things happen, and then the day wraps up, with more feeding, more putting out fires, and more not being in a creative space.

I have to say, that traveling on my own gives many opportunities to find that clarity.  Down time seems to be a part of consistent travel and has become something I accept and also at times thrive upon.  A couple of hours to sit down in a coffee shop, in a park, or simply in the car knowing that there is no other pressing matter that I should be attending too.  Out of town means I don't have the ability to tend to our children when there is down time.  No need to take care of those pressing matters around the house as I am not there. 

What a wonderful space to be in.  A space to allow to journal, to reflect, to blog (obviously as I am doing now), but just knowing that I can be selfish with my time.  Is that so bad?  A client of mine likened his travel schedule (He was a regional manager for a pharmaceutical company that required him to travel 3-4 days per week) as having the best of both worlds in many ways.  I believe many entreprenuers struggle with wanting to sink a million hours into their day time passion yet always knowing they have a purpose in providing stability, love, direction, and so many things for a family life.  The way that he put it was that when he traveled, it was his chance to be completely free to make decisions as if he was single.  Does that make sense?  He chose when to get up, what to eat, how to spend his off time, what park to go to, where to eat dinner, tv shows, you name it, it was up to him.  Obviously, he has the stability of a strong relationship where he is confident in his commitment to his spouse and his spouses commitment to him, but it is true.

Your decisions on  your own.  Your thoughts are you own.  The normalcy of day to day life is drowned out and it is such a powerful space to operate from.  Creativity is strength.  Most of us have probably heard artists who do their best work in the middle of the night, where they can focus all of their passion into the process.  When was the last time you allowed yourself such an opportunity.  I think it is healthy to recharge the soul with me time.  I've heard it many times lately, but it is the idea of place the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on the others when the plane is going down.  If you don't do right by yourself, you will never do right by others, no matter what you think.  When we don't operate at our highest level with our highest purpose, then we compromise.  It doesn't mean that we have to be stuffy and serious, it means live life to its fullest, don't settle, know that all of the silent thoughts and dreams are possible if we allow them to be, now that's exciting!

"The only way you fail is when you quit trying"

I think the quit should be QUIT because we know that is what it is all about for those who choose it.

Over the last little bit, KayCee and I have been getting closer and closer to some of our midterm goals with our business.  I have to tell you, that it was exciting to see our companies recognition come out over the last few days and see 2 people in our group in the top 15 (ourselves and a dear friend), 5 of the 7 people in our group at our position recognized in the top within the company as presidents clubs members, and 3 of those 7 people recognized for a silver jacket which is an even more exclusive group within our company.

It just seems like the business is getting more and more simple, and it is so unfortunate when we see people that don't stick it out long enough to get to where they want to be.  Networking is quite simple, but it takes some for the simplicity to sink in.  That is to say, you have to stick around long enough, to be good enough, to get the results that you are looking for. 

The threshold of entry into most networking companies is so low that the associated benefits of what is possible are never realized as the investment is too easy to walk away from.  I used to remember people saying, "If I could just put my head on your body for a moment, you would never quit."  There is a point in time, where the lightbulb clicks on.  Everything starts to converge, and the ability to really see massive success becomes not only a "what if it could really happen, to its right there, go after it, its not a what if, it is simply a matter of time, there are no questions.

How many people quit before they realize their potential.  Sad really.

It always amazes me when I look up at the clock and realize that the last hour that I have been working has really been 4 hours.  Does that ever happen to you?  The last few weeks have been quite hectic and a little out of balance, and I know that it is for the best as we are pushing ever closer towards our goals to enjoy a life style without limitations.

The last 2 weeks I have been very tardy on attending to my blog entries and as most people do, (I'm justifying this right now as I am no different than anyone else) I have dropped out on a new years resolution or at least a goal of mine to post every single day.  Its much like working out, I miss a day, and the next day I figure I will work out twice as hard to make up for the lost day, but pretty soon missing a day now and again becomes the new norm, and usually for me, some sort of event happens, I get sick, we go out of town, something that finally puts last nail in the coffin and I'm off the wagon.  Silly really.

With that being said, I'm recommitting once again, kind of doesn't hold the same weight, but its a commitment for me, whether anyone drops by to read my little rants or not, I know that all of the little commitments I make towards improving (blogging is communicating and communication is key) will pay dividends in the long run.